3 Rules For Book Borrowing
Proper Book Borrowing Etiquette
Asking to borrow a book is a great way to build a tighter relationship with friends, since you can talk about the book together. Yet, have you ever let someone borrow a book and it comes back in shambles? I have. It’s highly unmannerly to treat a person’s property as a coaster, a doorstop, a placemat, a note pad, or anything else other than, well, a book!
Rule #1 – Books Are Not Coasters
Have you ever let someone borrow a book only to have it returned looking like it was used as a child’s bib? I have no idea why people think it’s acceptable to use books as serving platters. Last month I lent a coworker borrow a book I’ve had for years. It wasn’t a classic but was one that I looked forward to reading again – as well as allowing others to borrow. When I got it back, it looked like the table at an all-you-can-eat buffet, after a high school football team celebrated a victory with Sloppy Joes. I could literally spot the different types of food stains to a point where I could create my own food pyramid. It was appalling.
When you let someone – let alone an adult friend or colleague – borrow a book, you assume you don’t have to lay down the law about taking care of it. But sometimes they need a reminder. There a two ways to make sure that your book comes back as you lent it:
When you hand it to them, causally say something like: “I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. It’s one of my favorites. I don’t even drink coffee around it!” By saying this, you remind the borrower how much you like the book, so perhaps it’s not a good idea to read it during “Taco Tuesdays.”
If you are unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of a bad book borrow, I would say something like: “Gosh, I don’t remember these odd stains being on the book when I gave it to you. Did you lend it out to anyone else?” This way, they will be forced to fess up and rectify the situation with a new book in exchange.
Rule #2 – Borrowing Does NOT Mean GIVING
Unless you have plans to lend the book to someone else, or read it again soon, time limits on lending a book are not strict. However, I recommend inquiring about when you do expect to get it back. Don’t think of this as a burden on the person or a way to rush them – not all of us read at the same speed. I’m guilty of this. I grew up with a learning disability and even today do not read as fast as many others. Still, there comes a time when you have to wonder: “Am I ever going to get this book back?”
When you lend someone a book, it’s best just to have a guess on when you can expect a return. Don’t be too harsh with this (assigning a fee is not the way to go). Try this: “I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. My other friend wants to borrow it too when you’re done. Please take your time reading it and then we can all get together to talk about it!”
Rule #3 – It’s Not a College Text Book
The margins in books are designed for aesthetics and framing, not as a space for your personal journal. Unless you tell the person ahead of time that you do this and they can as well, it’s fine. But if you did not scuff up your book, neither should they.
Granted, if it’s your property, you can do as you please. But if you borrow a book from someone and find it crucial to make a note of something you read, don’t use the margins. Unless it’s a text book, where you and your friends are trying to help one another out and you know it will never make your final collection, then I say go at it. But if it’s A) not yours and B) a book to be cherished, just use a Post It note instead.
For one, writing in the margins ruins the book. That’s a no brainer. Two, it’s distracting! I hate reading a book and finding little notes that throw me off. Plus, I don’t like reading people’s bizarre rants and theories on what the author was trying to say – on a book I lent them! It’s just maddening.
When you borrow a book from someone, remember that it’s their property and take care that you treat it as such. Otherwise, you may never have the chance to borrow another.
